Reflections
by rororogers
Summary: Lou reflects on her thoughts about her Pony Express family, shortly after meeting them. Just a little one-shot. This does not follow the shows timeline, meaning Kid isnt the first to discover she is a girl.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Riders or any of the characters. **

**A/N: This is just a short one-shot about what Lou thinks about the fellow members of the Pony Express.**

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><p>My name is Louise McCloud but I go by Lou now. I'm a boy now at least that is what people think. I'm not strange or anything, I'm still a girl underneath the clothes, and I still like men. It's just safer for me to be a boy. Besides boys have more job opportunities. There's not much work a girl my age can get out here in the west. I can either do laundry or work in a brothel. I tried the laundry once; it didn't work out the way I planned. Turns out the house I was working in was one of those brothels. I found that out too late. After the owner raped me, one of the girls took pity on me and helped me escape. That was when I cut off my hair and started dressing like a boy. I've got a good job now. I'm a new rider for the Pony Express. I really need this job; I've got a kid brother and sister in an orphanage depending on me. I've been stationed in a little town called Sweetwater. There are five other new recruits besides me. There's also the station master, the housemother, and the town marshal. I'll tell you about them all.<p>

Let me start with Emma Shannon our housemother. Emma reminds me of my own dead mother. She made it a point to say that as long as she was around we weren't orphans anymore. She gives all of us love and mothering. We are her children, though there is no way she could actually be our mother. She's not that old herself. We all love Emma though like she was our own mother. Emma may look sweet and fragile, but she's as tough as nails. You have to be out here as a single woman. She's a great cook too. It had been awhile since I had a decent meal before I joined the express. I think that might have been the case with all of us. I'm pretty sure the guys all love Emma for her cooking alone.

The town marshal is Sam Cain. He is Emma's long time sweetheart. I'm not sure why they haven't gotten married yet. Sam is a good man. He's just and the town respects that. He never stops to think about stepping in if someone's in trouble, he just does it. He tries to be a role model for us 'boys'. I know some of them need it. Sam has done some crazy things in his life, so he tries to teach us from his mistakes. I know he cares about us because Emma does. When he needs help he knows he can count on us to have his back, just like we know he will have ours. Emma's got herself a good man, and he's pretty good looking to boot.

Then there's Teaspoon Hunter our station master. I don't know how he ended up with that nickname, not sure if I want to know either. Teaspoon is an ex-Texas ranger who has been married six times, two of those times it was to Indians. Teaspoon's hard but fair. He does his best to train us to stay alive. Teaching us all his tricks, and he has quite a few of them. He many never admit it but I think he looks at us like we are his own 'sons'. We all respect Teaspoon. Even though he called me puny, I showed him I could handle the job. He has no idea I'm a girl. I don't think any of them do, that's a good thing. If Teaspoon knew I would be out of a job for sure.

Now onto my fellow riders, I'll start with the Kid. We don't know his real name, he won't tell us. Kid is from Virginia and he doesn't know how to do much but he needs the job and is willing to work hard. He has his own horse, Katy. He talks to her more than anybody else. Kid is cute but he's also one of those annoyingly perfect types. He has to do everything by the book, the right way. I feel sure he would rat me out if he knew I was girl, just because the company only hires males for the riders, they say it's too dangerous for a woman. I know Kid would agree.

Next comes William F. Cody. Billy or Cody as he prefers to be called, only Emma calls him Billy, to everybody else he's just Cody. Cody is a blue eyed blonde who thinks he is God's gift to women. I don't know, maybe some women find his arrogance attractive. I don't. Cody is a crack shot with a long rifle. He never misses. That only adds to his arrogance. But even as arrogant as Cody is he is still a nice guy, he just needs to grow up a little. I consider him the clown of our group. He always making the rest of us laugh at something he did or said. Though a lot of the times we are laughing at him, not with him. Still I know he would have our backs in a heartbeat and we would have his.

Then there is Jimmy. James Butler Hickok to be exact. Jimmy is cocky and hot tempered. But as quick as his temper is, he's even quicker with his six-shooter which he wears slung low on his hip. He's the type of guy to shoot first asks questions later. Sam tries to get him to use his head before his gun. He's been done that road and doesn't want Jimmy making his same mistakes. Jimmy is attractive in a rugged sort of way. But he's dangerous. He's got that bad boy image written all over him. I'm not sure how much is an act, but I'm not up for finding out personally.

Now we come to Ike McSwain. Ike is a bald mute. He lost his hair to scarlet fever when he was a child. I can only assume the same was for his voice. Ike uses Indian sign to speak. I'm learning to read it, we all are, and so far I've got it better than the others. Ike is quite gifted with animals, horses in particular. I've never seen anyone ride as well as him. He can break any horse there is. Ike works harder than the rest of us to prove himself because of his disability. I think that need to prove we can do this job is something we have in common. Ike is a really nice guy with a smile always at the ready. Ike can make us all feel better with his easy going nature. I know a lot of people think because he can't talk it means he's a dummy but Ike's far from it. He's hardworking and loyal. A good friend to us all.

This brings me to our last rider but certainly not the least. Running Buck Cross, or Buck as he prefers. Buck is a half breed and Ike's best friend. They were in a mission school together as children. Buck is the one who taught Ike to sign. Buck is half Kiowa, not that it matters to us. He's just Buck to me. Teaspoon however knows that that his being half Kiowa will come in handy. The first day he tested Buck on his knowledge, showing him different arrows. Buck only had to look at them to know which Indian band they were from. Teaspoon tried to trick Buck with an arrow he had made himself. Buck wasn't fooled for a minute. He smiled as he told Teaspoon, 'this one you made'. Teaspoon was impressed. Buck is also an expert horsemen and tracker. He can look at a blade of grass and can tell how many horses had been through there, which direction they were going and all that kind of thing. Buck is also quite handsome with his defined facial structure. He has brown hair and brown eyes. His eyes aren't the dark brown almost black eyes I have come to associate with Indians. Instead they are a light brown color; mine are even darker than his. His eyes seemed to be able to see right through me. I often wonder if he knows I'm not what I pretend to be. If he does know he never lets on. Buck also has an amazing smile, when he uses it. Most of the time he just gives a crooked grin, but when he really smiles my heart melts. I have to be careful around Buck. It would be all too easy to fall in love and let my guard down with him. Then my secret would be out.

When I first met my fellow riders I thought we would barely be able to work together. I never thought we would become friends. But we have, in fact we have become a family. A family full of misfits, orphans, strays, throwaways, freaks, or whatever you wanted to call us, but a family is what we are. I just hope that if my secret ever comes out, they will remember that and not rat me out.

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><p>I put the pen down beside my journal, letting the ink dry so I could put it away before the boys return. I close the book and put it away just as Buck comes in the bunkhouse. "Hey Buck" I say lowering my voice. "Hey Lou," Buck says with a real smile directed at me. I felt my heart flutter, I knew I was blushing and I hoped Buck would not notice. Buck stepped closer to me so he could whisper in my ear, "you know I've been meaning to ask you what Lou is short for." I don't turn to look at him, his proximity is making it hard for me to think straight, "Why?" was all I could manage to say. I could practically feel Buck's smile as he said, "No reason…Louise." I stop dead and look over at him my eyes huge, the smile on Buck's face got even bigger. "How did you know?" I asked shocked that he had found out my name.<p>

"The name or the fact that you're a girl?" Buck asked me. "Both" I say. "The name was just a lucky guess." Buck said grinning. "The fact that you're a girl? Well I'm not blind Lou. I've known from the start what you are." I shake my head laughing slightly, I should have known. "Why didn't you say anything?" "You needed the job, why shouldn't you be able to do it just because you're a girl. You ride as well as the rest of us; I don't see a reason for you not to be able to work." Buck said with a shrug. "So you aren't going to tell on me?" I asked him biting my lip. Buck laughed, "No, but I would hide that journal better if I was you. Cody has been snooping through people's things lately." "Thanks Buck." I say and kiss him on the cheek just before the rest of the guys come in. Buck shoots me a wink moving away. At least I knew I had one ally should my cover be blown. But I had a feeling my 'brothers' would keep my secret if they knew, we were family after all.

The End


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